Dear diary,

I hope I get through this entry as I’m not long for this world. I fear I have dropsy, which I likely contracted from an all-night sleep-out for the release of Pearl Jam’s new opera, Vitalogy at the Ye Virgin Megastore. Mama and papa wouldn’t give me the thruppence it cost, so I had to take my lute along and perform in the manner of a minstrel for coins. Happily, coins rained upon me, as skin flakes from Hubert, the local leper. I purchased the compendium and was on my way. Unfortunately, it’s not as good as their previous operas. Also, the fever has reached my lungs.

Benjamin